Seven Ways to Procrastinate

There are two things inspiring this week's post.

• I found myself browsing Imgur last night, and after reaching pictures I'd already seen, I was trying to think of other websites to waste my time on, and was horrified when I couldn't come up with anything. Facebook was too boring, and...well, what else is there? I don't have a pintrest account. I wasn't sure what to browse on youtube (no matter what cat video you send me, I promise I've already seen it). 

•  I had no idea what to write about today, but I knew I wanted to write something, so I googled "blog ideas," and this one list came up that included a "Seven ways to..." kind of post. I'm not really sure what I'm an authority on. Really not much. But I'm a fantastic procrastinator, and goddammit, I'm going to write about it.

Seven Ways to Procrastinate

1. Write a blog post. I almost wrote a post on how I've completed all of my homework up to this point, but I couldn't stop laughing long enough to get any words out. 
   GIFSoup
2. Play a video game. This is an obvious one. Don't have a console? No problem. That's what sites like www.vizzed.com and www.addictinggames.com are for. Also, this game. It's pretty cool. 
3. Read a book, knit/crochet, color a coloring book. You can tell yourself you're being productive if you do this one, because of course reading isn't a waste of time! It's good to read! And knitting/crocheting is productive because you're making something. And let's be honest, who doesn't like to color? If you raise your hand, you haven't colored in too long. Or maybe you haven't bought the coloring book that's right for you. In any case, this is kind of the Overachiever Procrastinator trophy requirement. I'll be honest; I kind of look down on people who claim to procrastinate when they're actually doing something semi-productive. Lame.
4. Find a sudden tv show addiction. I myself have recently become invested in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  This is one of those things that gives you the illusion that you're being productive, because you're making your way through a season (or a series, in my case) of something you haven't seen before. That's always a nice illusion. 
5. Start doing your work around your friends. One of my favorite places to do homework is in the music lounge on campus, because that's where all the fun music students go to socialize. If you get more than a page of anything written/read/accomplished, I will give you permission to name my first cat. 
6. While typing papers, keep a stream of youtube videos open on your laptop. Make sure that you constantly have something playing, preferably with words.  It's really helps.
7. Okay I'm getting bored, so I'll get to this one later. 

Since apparently I've been posting music videos more and more frequently with my posts, I'll keep to that tradition (because I like it), and post one for today. This one was a recommendation from my lovely sister. Happy Monday!

Fall Semester

So it's that time of year again where a new school year is beginning, and I'm looking forward to my classes, and then the first day goes by and the second day and I'm looking forward to the weekend, and then I realize I need to take another class this semester if I want to graduate by May, and then I take on a few jobs to make money for gas and the occasional off-campus dinner, and then I come down with a case of faux enthusiasm during which volunteer for too many things, half of which I might follow through with, and I'm left wondering where all my video game time went.

But seriously, I do think this will be a good semester. I started my first teaching practicum where I go to schools and work with middle and high school students, which is very exciting. I felt lucky to have such a good first day of class-- I was actually able to help some of the students with their English questions, which made me feel pretty cool. I never thought the day would come where I feel validated by successfully defining "simile."

And in case, god forbid, I'm getting too over-confident in the English department, the practicum is balanced by my course on Chaucer. After spending two and a half hours reading about ten pages of The Canterbury Tales, I realized several things:

1. I love reading textbooks
2. I love reading scholarly essays, provided they were written in the last hundred years
3. I love reading James Joyce, Thomas Pynchon, Gertrude Stein, and all of those pretentious authors who choose to write in modern English (barely) (except for the part where they write in other languages, but at least I can skip those parts with the excuse that they are not English and therefore I am not obliged to read them, unlike Chaucer, who wrote at a time when spelling was arbitrary and jokes about the Black Plague were fashionable)
1. But don't hold me to that-- I'm not really going to pick up Joyce or Pynchon or Stein and read them. I don't love them that much.
2. Please don't hold me to that
4. I have no idea how to spell "Canterbury"

And if Chaucer wasn't humbling enough, I'm taking Music Theory III (for fun) two years late. I have never been the oldest person in a class before, but now I know that feeling, and I kind of want to start a club. "Delayed Seniors" or something. But I do enjoy theory.  Along with history, it's one of the two aspects of music that I don't think I will grow tired of anytime soon. 

Oh, well. Here's to the beginning of the year. 

Since I like video games, video game music, and Skyrim these days, I'm going to close this post by posting a Skyrim piece that I've really been enjoying. 

In which I am too busy with classes, job hunting, skyrim, a dysfunctional laptop, scheduling conflicts, and the like to update this blog

I have had three or four posts planned in my head the last few weeks, but I just haven't actually gotten them down into a blog yet. It will happen, my friends! It will happen!

Some thoughts re: Chick fil a news

Yes, I am going to post about the Chick-fil-a thing going on. I did not originally intend to, but after reading various articles, facebook posts, mocking pictures on both sides, etc, I've decided I want to. There are some things about this debate that have been bothering me a lot, and I want to address them. And yes, I do have a strong opinion when it comes to LGBT rights, so this post will come across as "biased" (although what isn't?), but I want to make it clear that I think there are two separate issues regarding this whole thing, and I want to address the second. I'm not going to write about gay rights, as there are many articles and youtube videos all over that say what I think about that, and I don't have much to add what they have to say; instead I want to write about a second issue that has come up regarding the recent news with Chick-fil-a, and I think seems to be largely ignored in this whole debate.

Many of the responses I've been reading includes phrase that people are tossing around, regarding those being denied their "first amendment rights." I have trouble seeing what all this stuff with Dan Cathy has to do with the first amendment, which is the right to free speech. The way I see it, people (or maybe it's just me) are getting more upset over where a fraction of the money spent at Chick-fil-a actually goes, which is to their philanthropy, the WinShape foundation. There is nothing illegal about what they do, and it is Cathy's choice to donate to the organization he sees fit. However, as I personally do not agree with many of WinShape's views and actions, most notably their strong stance on "traditional" marriage, I do not want to spend my money at Chick-fil-a knowing that a portion of it, however small, goes to that organization. (not to mention the large amount of money that WinShape has donated to other organizations such as Focus on the Family, and the Family Research Council, which are, if anything, far more vocal on their views of "family life" than WinShape). And quite frankly, if someone chooses not to spend their money at Chick fil a simply based on the company's statement, or even be vocal in response to his views, then that is also their choice, just as it is Cathy's choice to make a statement in the first place. 


(I would like to add that Cathy's relationship with this foundation is nothing new; the only thing has has caused a stir recently is the combination of Henson's withdrawal of the Muppets toys and connections from Chick fil a, the response of Chick fil a to that withdrawal, and the letter from the mayor of Chicago). 

In making this decision to not buy from Chick-fil-a, I am not trying to say that Dan Cathy is wrong in voicing his opinion, regardless of whether or not I agree with it. We all have the right to do the same, which is a wonderful (and powerful) right. But just as Cathy is allowed to choose where he donates the profits of his company, I am allowed to choose where I spend my money. The whole "first amendment rights" argument I've been seeing annoys me for that reason. People tend to throw the phrase around to validate their opinion, or invalidate those who argue with them (he's being denied his first amendment rights because he is under attack), but my decision (I can't speak for everyone) is not the result of Cathy saying what he believes, but of where some of my money goes. And I can't feel good about giving my money to organizations like WinShape and Focus on the Family when I disagree with their statements so strongly. Whether or not they are wrong for doing so, I retain my right to choose where I buy food.

Again, I'm not really going to get into the subject of gay marriage. I am glad that Chick fil a does not discriminate based on sexual orientation when they hire; I do respect them for that. I could write paragraphs delving into Biblical arguments explaining why I believe using religion to argue against homosexuality is kind of silly (throwing out the standard Leviticus passages about pigskin, stoning, and rape, or Paul's views on women), but I'm not going to. I could also argue about civil rights, and genetics, or choices (rather, lack thereof), but I also won't do that. That is kind of irrelevant to this post. If anybody wants to hear my arguments, they're welcome to send me a message, and I will write them back with much more than they asked for. I would add that I genuinely respect all religions, and even would consider myself a Christian, just as much as I would consider myself someone who believes in the power of questioning. But in all honesty, I think that those who would agree with me would already be agreeing with me before reading what I have to say, while those who would initially disagree would not be swayed by what I have to say, because it would not be anything that they have not heard before, and I don't think I have the eloquence to write it very persuasively. I'm not one for debate.

I also do not think that my not eating at Chick-fil-a will change anything. I dislike the word "boycott" for what I'm doing here, because it implies that I believe this will cause a change. I don't think it will-- not from my part, anyway. I never ate there much in the first place, anyway, although I do like their chicken. So why am I not eating their food? Put simply, I just can't feel good about myself if I'm donating (however marginally) to a cause I absolutely do not support, and there really isn't much more to it than that.

Elegy for my Phone

You were a good phone;

You were not perfect,

But you were mine.

You sometimes froze

Or I could not unlock you,

And you had scrapes on your corners

From all the times I dropped you.

Sometimes you would accidentally call people

Or send nonsensical texts from inside my purse

Even though you had a touchpad--

I thought that was so silly.

But you were my phone. 

You knew my entire internet history,

You knew that I had a Pokedex on my phone,

Knew the songs I listened to, 

And which ones I liked the most.

You knew that I loved Mahler

And the soundtrack to Kingdom Hearts,

And that I had a separate playlist for when guests were in the car

So I would seem more normal.

You knew that I was determined to beat Cut the Rope, 

That I had little interest in Angry Birds,

And I liked the Spanish explorer from Temple Run. 

You knew I liked taking pictures of cats. 

You saw all of my texts and all of my emails,

Endured my habit of repeatedly pressing the "hold" button

So your screen would turn on and off,

And made a quacking noise for your ringtone. 

But you were taken from me,

So I wiped your memory

With iCloud

And now you don't remember me.

You were my phone.

**********************************************

RIP Emily's Phone (June 2011-June 2012)

Melkor, Belkor, and the Two Carrots

(taken and edited from a draft of the unpublished The Even More Lost Tales, by J. R. R. Tolkien)

In the time when the Children of Iluvatar were just beginning to wake on the shores of Cuivienen, Melkor was imprisoned in the Halls of Mandos, and after three hundred and ninety four years he grew hungry, so he sang into existence with his own music a beautiful garden, so that many vegetables might grow to be cooked  into a Magnificent Soup, a Soup that would surpass all other soups ever cooked by the Valar, a Soup that not a single Ainur could ever imagine, a Soup that would fill even the most infinite stomachs. This garden Melkor named Belkor, which means Garden of Dark Vegetables, and he grew peppers of the most delectable variety that the finest grocer in Tuna could not refuse, tomatoes brighter and rosier than the fires of Aule, and squash for which Feanor offered two of his own shining Silmarils only to be refused by Melkor; even the great Manwe could never produce a single crop that brimmed with as much life as Melkor's peas or corn or transcendent cauliflower which caused the Valar to weep with envy.

Most precious of all to Melkor were two carrots that he grew with his powerful songs, melodies very much unlike those of his brethren while still beautiful in their own right, but he remained ignorant that his own vegetables could never have been possible but for the first creation of the omnipotent Eru, without whom there could be no Melkor to sing a single leaf into existence, and this ignorance continually placed Melkor under a dark shadow that even his beautiful vegetables could not save him from. Melkor loved these two carrots, and they were called Helkor and Gelkor, and also Finmelkor and Melkorfin, and also Denethor and Denethor, but to the Noldori they were known simply as Anduilenywen, which means Two Carrots. Melkor saw these carrots and understood that they would make his soup surpass all previous culinary endeavors by any being on Arda, and his eyes gleamed with pride and also jealousy, as he feared deeply that Namo would leave his cold throne in the Halls of Mandos in order that he might take the two carrots for himself.


But it was not Mandos who first found these two carrots, but his brother Lorien, who came upon Belkor after a lengthy, wandering stroll around Valinor, and found his own stomach making music louder than the thunders of Manwe and more disconcerting than the striking of Aule's hammer by his strong right arm, shaping the stones into living Noldor, and Lorien looked for something that he might satisfy his vast appetite. Melkor happened to choose this time to take a great nap, which was called Telkor, which means Dark Nap. And thus, as Lorien strode down the endless Halls of Mandos, he beheld the two carrots, Helkor and Gelkor, planted side by side, in the dark soil that was filled with Melkor's despair and his love of creation, and he took the two carrots and ate them, and lo, his eyes indeed glistened with wonder, and a fire in his heart awoke the moment the carrots passed his lips, and he wept at the beauty he had just eaten.

Immediately, a powerful force seized Lorien's body and his eyes turned red and he tore all the vegetables out of Melkor's garden in a wild frenzy, fleeing from the Halls of his brother, and Valinor, past the Tol Eressea, over Belegaer, across Eriador, and through the Misty Mountains, and over the in a fit of exhaustion collapsed upon the ground, dropping all of his vegetables, and there a mighty forest grew named Lothlorien meaning "dreamflower" because Lorien fell asleep upon lying down on this ground because he was full and also because he is the god of sleep and dreams, and he had a dream about eating more carrots.

Melkor woke from his nap and cried out upon seeing his pulchritudinous garden destroyed, and beat his breast and tore his hair, and vowed revenge on his brothers and sisters for the Magnificent Soup that would now never be made.

Some Stuff, The Philosophy of Cockroaches, and I Am 21

It seems that yet another long month has slipped by without my noticing and taken away my opportunity to keep my blog from being regular. Several things have happened in the last month :

me : Final Fantasy music:: tweenage girls : Justin Bieber

• Most importantly, I achieved the magical age of twenty one where I can order wine and beers, looking sociable, while keeping a hip flask of virgin diet coke on my person at all times so I can secretly be drinking something that I actually enjoy
• I am no longer a junior at Trinity University, but a senior
• I got two jobs, one babysitting for a nearby family in the early mornings and late afternoons, and another working at Sky High, a trampoline gym near my house, during the day
• I discovered a Final Fantasy Concert going on in Dallas on June 15, but alas, I will be out of town, so I swear to god I will buy anyone a ticket if they promise they will go and write me a full report.
• I turned twenty one, and cried at the end of Happy Feet 2 on my birthday. (no, I wasn't drunk-- it was just really sweet that all the penguins and the sea elephants and the shrimp things were working together)
• I got a top comment on imgur, and another comment that currently has over 300 points. I'm becoming a powerful, powerful force on the internet. Tomorrow I may be the ruler. Fear me. 
• I've been reading cheap fantasy novels and Entertainment Weekly (DARKKNIGHTDARKKNIGHTDARKKNIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!) while accumulating some decent books that I plan on reading this summer, including:
• The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. LeGuin (no, I have not read this yet, yes, I know I need to)
• Complete Letters of Dietrich Bonhoeffer (I've read condensed versions, but I want more!!)
• The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana, Umberto Eco
• This interesting Mozart biography I found by someone who seems legitimate-- the title of the biography is, get this, Mozart
• Some Neal Stephenson books that I haven't yet tackled; his books are kind of demanding, but hilariously worth it. I highly recommend him for anybody who is interested in science/adventure/history/parallel universes/religion/literary references/math/sci-fi/complicated things/satire/finishing a book and needing to go back and reading it again because you have no clue what just happened. Hmm, that didn't sound as enticing as it did in my head. But he's worth a try for anybody who likes...reading. 

I simply don't understand how you could possibly have no interest in what this guy has to say. 

Most of my posts have had themes or anecdotes or some sort of point to them (or something so beyond nerdy that I simply can't come up with an excuse other than...no, there is just no excuse for liking Pokemon at my age)

(which is now twenty one, by the way)

(I had to throw that in there again-- feel free to send me congratulatory drinks, preferably virgin pina coladas or diet cokes)

(or the occasional martini)

Preferably with this glass

Anyway, what I was saying was that I find that those blog posts revolving around specific stories are the most rewarding for me to write, and believe it or not, I actually had a story in mind when I began writing this post, but sadly, I couldn't help giving an update on my life because I so enjoy talking about myself (especially on my own blog). 

But I'll get to the point: my story about this weekend when I slept over at a friend's house, and while staying up chatting at two in the morning, we saw a cockroach crawl out of the vent and fly around the room. I shrieked and flew out of the room faster than any cockroach, as did my friend, who managed to find some hidden adrenaline-induced speed despite the hard cast on her broken-in-several-places foot. I have never seen someone limp so quickly. We considered going into the room and killing the cockroach, but despite the fact that one glimpse into the room proved that the poor cockroach was in its death throes, barely able to stand and falling onto its back every few steps, we both refused to enter the room. Instead, we shut all the doors, turned off the light switches that were close enough to the doors that we did not have to set one foot-- broken or otherwise-- into the room, and collected books to stack in front of all the doors through which the cockroach might possibly escape. 

In the morning, the cockroach was dead. (I was going to google pictures for this story, but I just couldn't bring myself to look at those disgusting creatures any more than real life forces me to. Nope nope nope. Instead, take a moment to appreciate this picture of a kitty cat and a kitten.)

After all, what would the internet be without kitten pictures?

But this got me thinking about why we are so afraid of cockroaches. I still don't get it. They don't hurt you. I guess they're kind of big, but so are grasshoppers, and most of us aren't very afraid of those. They can fly, but so can moths. In fact, I originally thought the flying cockroach was a moth, and wasn't bothered at all until I saw it land. People sometimes say it's because they've been around for an unnaturally long time, but so have beetles or slugs. I'm speaking from the perspective of someone whose first reaction upon seeing a cockroach involves climbing up the highest thing I can find in any given room, and screaming when I realize that the cockroach can climb, too, so believe me when I say I'm not judging anybody. I just find it kind of funny. 

And that's this month's intellectual thinking crossed off my to-do list. 

To summarize, the point of this post is that cockroaches are people too, even if I hate them so much that even thinking about them makes me want to move to Antarctica and live in a secluded igloo for the rest of my life. Actually, never mind, they're not people. And also I am twenty one. 

I'll close with a Final Fantasy piece because, you know, that's cool. I don't even bother calling it my guilty pleasure music anymore, because that implies that there is some guilt/shame involved. I have no shame. Here is Aerith's Theme from Final Fantasy VII. 

<3