Melkor, Belkor, and the Two Carrots

(taken and edited from a draft of the unpublished The Even More Lost Tales, by J. R. R. Tolkien)

In the time when the Children of Iluvatar were just beginning to wake on the shores of Cuivienen, Melkor was imprisoned in the Halls of Mandos, and after three hundred and ninety four years he grew hungry, so he sang into existence with his own music a beautiful garden, so that many vegetables might grow to be cooked  into a Magnificent Soup, a Soup that would surpass all other soups ever cooked by the Valar, a Soup that not a single Ainur could ever imagine, a Soup that would fill even the most infinite stomachs. This garden Melkor named Belkor, which means Garden of Dark Vegetables, and he grew peppers of the most delectable variety that the finest grocer in Tuna could not refuse, tomatoes brighter and rosier than the fires of Aule, and squash for which Feanor offered two of his own shining Silmarils only to be refused by Melkor; even the great Manwe could never produce a single crop that brimmed with as much life as Melkor's peas or corn or transcendent cauliflower which caused the Valar to weep with envy.

Most precious of all to Melkor were two carrots that he grew with his powerful songs, melodies very much unlike those of his brethren while still beautiful in their own right, but he remained ignorant that his own vegetables could never have been possible but for the first creation of the omnipotent Eru, without whom there could be no Melkor to sing a single leaf into existence, and this ignorance continually placed Melkor under a dark shadow that even his beautiful vegetables could not save him from. Melkor loved these two carrots, and they were called Helkor and Gelkor, and also Finmelkor and Melkorfin, and also Denethor and Denethor, but to the Noldori they were known simply as Anduilenywen, which means Two Carrots. Melkor saw these carrots and understood that they would make his soup surpass all previous culinary endeavors by any being on Arda, and his eyes gleamed with pride and also jealousy, as he feared deeply that Namo would leave his cold throne in the Halls of Mandos in order that he might take the two carrots for himself.


But it was not Mandos who first found these two carrots, but his brother Lorien, who came upon Belkor after a lengthy, wandering stroll around Valinor, and found his own stomach making music louder than the thunders of Manwe and more disconcerting than the striking of Aule's hammer by his strong right arm, shaping the stones into living Noldor, and Lorien looked for something that he might satisfy his vast appetite. Melkor happened to choose this time to take a great nap, which was called Telkor, which means Dark Nap. And thus, as Lorien strode down the endless Halls of Mandos, he beheld the two carrots, Helkor and Gelkor, planted side by side, in the dark soil that was filled with Melkor's despair and his love of creation, and he took the two carrots and ate them, and lo, his eyes indeed glistened with wonder, and a fire in his heart awoke the moment the carrots passed his lips, and he wept at the beauty he had just eaten.

Immediately, a powerful force seized Lorien's body and his eyes turned red and he tore all the vegetables out of Melkor's garden in a wild frenzy, fleeing from the Halls of his brother, and Valinor, past the Tol Eressea, over Belegaer, across Eriador, and through the Misty Mountains, and over the in a fit of exhaustion collapsed upon the ground, dropping all of his vegetables, and there a mighty forest grew named Lothlorien meaning "dreamflower" because Lorien fell asleep upon lying down on this ground because he was full and also because he is the god of sleep and dreams, and he had a dream about eating more carrots.

Melkor woke from his nap and cried out upon seeing his pulchritudinous garden destroyed, and beat his breast and tore his hair, and vowed revenge on his brothers and sisters for the Magnificent Soup that would now never be made.