My ideal version of an impressive resume

(yes, this is a random post, but I like to imagine that the following resume is gold in some alternate universe...the thought makes me happy)

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Emily [last name]...................................[phone number]
Trinity University................................May 2013 (hopefully)
Majors.......................................Religion/English
Minor......................................................Music

GPA.......................To me, grades aren't as important as what you really learn at the end of the semester


Past jobs:

Editor

• Edited articles

Gym supervisor

• Told children to not run with a clear, commanding tone

Lifeguard

• Used lifeguard skills
• Got really tan during months of lifeguarding (tan is completely gone now, of course)

Other notable positions/achievements

• "Master" archer and sneak in Skyrim; "Adept" mage
• Two-time line leader in third grade
• Co-CEO of my dorm room, along with my roommate
• Pokemon Master
• Has read the entire Harry Potter series, as well as the Game of Thrones series, and the Series of Unfortunate Events
• Has had two wisdom teeth removed

Marketable skills:

• Lifeguard skills (currently dormant)
• Able to analyze most pieces of music or English literature
• Can name the composer of any movie
• I can type a lot of WPM
• Conversational Elvish
• Microsoft Office
• Can paint my own nails on my left hand
• Can work office swivel chairs

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