King Saul Was A Poser

So here's what we read recently in our religion class (1 Samuel 10:9-12):


⁹ As Saul turned to leave Samuel, God changed Saul’s heart, and all these signs were fulfilled that day. ¹⁰ When he and his servant arrived at Gibeah, a procession of prophets met him; the Spirit of God came powerfully upon him, and he joined in their prophesying. ¹¹ When all those who had formerly known him saw him prophesying with the prophets, they asked each other, “What is this that has happened to the son of Kish? Is Saul also among the prophets?”

¹² A man who lived there answered, “And who is their father?” So it became a saying: “Is Saul also among the prophets?”

This verse made me crack up for several reasons. For one, even though it said that the spirit of God came upon Saul, the phrase "prophesying with the prophets" is just silly, especially when Saul is definitely not a prophet. The writing doesn't even mention what he's saying, which makes it sound even more ridiculous. He's just prophesying with the prophets, no big deal. Hanging out with the kool kids. Since Samuel (the traditionally credited author of this book) was actually a prophet, it would make sense that he got annoyed at the thought of Saul getting credited as being a prophet, especially if Saul later failed so badly at being a king that he actually got his kingship and unconditional love taken away by God because, as God specifically says, he regrets putting Saul on the throne (1 Sam 16:1, 2 Sam 7:15). I'd get annoyed, too, if I were Samuel. Saul has no right to be prophesying among my peeps.

Also, the phrase "Is Saul also among the prophets?" sounds like something that the Israelites would say to someone who's trying to be someone that they're not (aka, a poser). I may have to start using that phrase. If you're hanging out with your friend and being nerdy and silly, but then someone else comes along and your friend immediately starts trying to look good in front of them, simply say to her, "Is [insert friend's name here] also among the prophets?" This will burn like...um...toast. Your friend will immediately understand how she erred, apologize, and you two will continue in your nerdy conversation.  Better yet, if someone is trying to impress you and failing because of your superiority in whatever they're trying to impress you with, just ask them if they are also among the prophets. 

The four greatest animals

They've come up recently in conversation several times over the past few months, so I thought it was about time that I made an official list of the top four best animals in the world. I would say top five, but I can't think of a fifth one that comes after my first four without having a part a, part b, part c, etc (they would range from snakes to lambs to ducks to baby tigers to giraffes to anything that's cute or awesome or alive). So I'll get right to it.


The fourth animal is, of course, a kitty cat, mostly because of this:

This is the baby kitty that my roommate and I adopted for a while. Her name is Moonbunny. Her current owners gave her another name, but her real name is Moonbunny. Everything she did was absolutely adorable, and when she got on our nerves, she would make up for it using this face:

And then it would all be ok, and she would get more attention than ever. 

Moonbunny loved sleeping. Here are some of the many different ways she liked to fall asleep. It really didn't matter whether or not there were other things going on. She would just fall asleep at random.

So now, if it wasn't official before (which is was), I am definitely a cat person now. I'm going to have a million kitty cats when I grow up! :D But this isn't about me; this is an objective posts. Moonbunny was an objectively cute kitten.


The third best animals are snails. (ok, screw objectivity, this post now officially entirely a subjective entry)
The thing about cats is that they're my favorite animal that I could actually own for a pet and interact with. I suppose I could own snails, but I feel like that's just not as cool as little baby kitty cats. Plus, the snails are probably happier outside. Just as kitty cats make my number one on my "favorite house pet" list, snails make number one on my list of "favorite bugs" list. They really are adorable, and they're so underrated. But, look at this picture:

How is this not perfect? It's so tiny and delicate and slow, and it just seems like it should have died out a while ago. But it's still here! And it still has its beautifully intricate shells and it keeps going. And if you haven't heard the song Snails by The Format, then listen to it, because it's happy. Open up that video in another tab or window, so you can look at cute animal pictures while listening to this song (the video itself isn't great, but it's the only one I've found on youtube that has the version I like). And then go take a very slow walk so you can look at everything around you while you're walking. But finish this blog post first, because we've got two more animals to go.

My second favorite animals are frogs. Frogs are usually green (which is my favorite color) or some other bright color that's equally as awesome. While green is my favorite color, I really do like any bright colors. The thing about frogs is that they are usually smiling, but they are always so delightfully awkward. They hop instead of walk, they swim in bursts, they eat bugs by catching food with their tongue, and while they can't breathe water, they can't live in a dry environment. 

I mean, seriously, did this frog not come straight out of middle school? Look at his face. He's sort of trying to be cool while keeping a nervous eye out for bullies. He probably keeps a secret deck of pokemon cards in his back pocket, and enjoys reading graphic novels in his spare time, and he constantly corrects people when they ask him how he is enjoying his comic books. I kind of want to give him a hug.

You also have the Old Man Grandpa frog that you can go to for advice, but he would probably carry on for a super long time about his stint in the war, or how bread used to cost a nickel when he was your age. 

You have frogs who have been friends forever, and even though they're kind of polar opposites personality-wise, they're two peas in a pod who both enjoy trips to the bookstore and late-night ice cream missions:

And finally, you have your generic cute-animal frog (herro, baby froggy! It's ok! You can come out-- we won't hurt you!):

Froggies....yay. :) (I should mention at this point that it's a scientifically proven fact that human speech becomes less and less intelligent and intelligible as animals get cuter. Just a quick warning before we get to my final animal). *still smiling happily over froggy pics* I would like to add, though, that on a serious note (and I've said this several times before), frogs take over Egypt in the Bible, making it into the Psalms, and they score a guest appearance in Revelations. Beat that, gnats. 

And lastly, my number one favorite animal. Brace yourselves for unbearable amounts of cuteness. Behold: THE KOALA!

D'awww...actually, as cute as this is, this picture is not my favorite things about koalas. There are lots of things I like about koalas. I like that they sleep for twenty three hours out of the day. I like that the way that they move is almost human. I like how fuzzy they are, and how big their ears are and how fat they can get. I like how they all have different faces and facial expressions. But mostly, I like this:

I mean, who wouldn't want to be the baby koala in that picture? It's all cozy in a fuzzy koala blanket and it's fast asleep, not worrying about anything, and the big koala is all wrapped around the baby koala, just as deep into sleep. Baby koalas really seem to like having something to cling onto:

And there's just something about that that makes me feel not just happy, but also peaceful. Yay, the koalas have their little families and stick together and they're always giving each other perpetual hugs! Is there anything better than a perpetual hug from someone who really cares about you?  Well, yes. A perpetual hug from a fuzzy koala. 

:)

The Five Pillars

My Academy Awards post was mostly a fail (I might have gotten just over half of the guesses correct, but I didn't bother counting this year), so today I will tackle a less ambitions subject, like the meaning of life. 

There are what I like to call "The Five Pillars" of life. Here are the pillars:

1. Lord of the Rings

2. Paul Tillich

3. Musicals (mostly Les Mis, but any musical will do in a pinch, especially Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals)

4. U2

5. Lost

6. Stuffed Animals

7. Ice Cream

8. Naps

9. Out of tune pianos

10. Rutter's Requiem (and other Requiems)

11. The Bible/Conspiracy Theories/Text Analysis

12. Chili's

Notice that neither "math" nor "counting" made the Five Pillars. Also, any Pillars that happen after the first five are "lesser" pillars. It is actually impossible to get through life without the first five of the Pillars. The rest only enhance the living experience. 

1. Firstly, Lord of the Rings. Sam + Ents make a wonderful epic and founder of my personal favorite genre, and what has been my favorite genre since lower school. I am a huge believer in the "Sam's star" philosophy, and always will be. Sam keeps the trilogy going; without him, the Ring would never have been destroyed, and there would have been no hope for Frodo, in more ways than one. Ents are just awesome. Trees that attack people when people hurt trees, the plant equivalent of the Eagles. So. Cool.

2. Paul Tillich: "It strikes us when, year after year, the longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old compulsions reign within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all joy and courage. Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into our darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying: "You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by that which is greater than you, and the name of which you do not know. Do not ask for the name now; perhaps you will find it later. Do not try to do anything now; perhaps later you will do much. Do not seek for anything; do not perform anything; do not intend anything. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted!"" Enough said. 

3. Musicals make things good. I used to be a musical-hater until the day I realized that I actually liked more musicals than I disliked. We had a CD in our house when I was little, a "Best of Andrew Lloyd Webber" cd that I listened to fairly often. Recently, that interest has been revived, especially when I played keyboard for the orchestra that accompanied our high school Les Miserables musical. 

4. U2: Similar to Lord of the Rings in the hopefulness of the lyrics; this is the only band that I've ever really paid attention the lyrics for (with the exception of a couple stray songs from other bands). Gloria is still my number one most played song, followed by "Get on your Boots" at number three ("You don't know how...beautiful...you don't know how beautiful you are!" ). 

5. Lost-- the Ultimate conspiracy theory! I have a soft spot for conspiracy theories (as you can see by Pillar no. 11), and Lost definitely fed my appetite for thinking in circles. The first season was bursting with mysteries and raised questions, so much so that anytime there was a hint of a single answer, I would be jumping up and down on the couch. By the sixth season, there were no more surprises, only patterns and connections (and after all, what is life other than a bunch of patterns?), and the ending was nothing less than perfect. Not everything was answered, but not everything needed an answer. Sometimes, just letting everything be is what makes me the happiest. I was very excited to get the Lost Encyclopedia from my little sister for Christmas, to read about even more of the connections!  (Thank you, sista!)

Now, the lesser pillars are a little bit different. They each have their role in improving your life. Stuffed animals all have personalities and names, and they're important for comforting you on bad days, and encouraging you when you need encouragement. Anyone reading this, go and give your stuffed animals a hug, and tell them thank you for how much they have done for you over the years. Right now. Just let them know how much you care about them.  Ice cream performs a similar function, but you're not supposed to care about ice cream like you care about your stuffed animals. You're just supposed to eat it. 

If life is a pattern, then naps are the knitting needles that make everything come together. You can't get by without naps. I used to be one of those nap-Scrooges that never napped. While it's still fairly rare for me, I have come to accept the importance of naps in everyday life. It may be a learning process. 

Out of tune pianos and Rutter's Requiem are both music essentials. Really, any music-related pillars are related (even musicals), but out-of-tune pianos are pianos that I feel at home with. I feel like we understand each other, and I have an easier time playing out of tune pianos in front of people. I grew up with a brown wooden Baldwin out of tune stand-up piano, and they are still my favorite kinds: wooden uprights. :) Rutter's Requiem is one that I've had for a while on CD, and I've listened to it fairly often, especially the first  movement (Requiem Aeternam). It's very soothing, no matter what kind of mood you're in, and it's a nice piece to de-stress if you have lots of work to do or something. I highly recommend it to everybody. 

Bibles/Conspiracy Theories/Text Analysis are all related for fairly obvious reasons. It's fun to make up conspiracy theories-- everybody should try it sometime. Basically, here's how it works. Pick out some sort of text that is either highly revered, or something that you greatly admire or like, and then find connections that no sane person would make. I'll give you a Biblical example that is one of my favorites. Each canonical gospel writer (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) has an animal that represents them, right? Well, try extending it to include all of the disciples. Levi, for example, is a tax collector; where does he keep all the tax that he collects? Why, in his pouch, of course! So his animal would have been a kangaroo. But, then how would people have known about kangaroos if they lived in the Middle East, since kangaroos didn't live there? Well, there were actually aliens in the Bible who must have moved some kangaroos from Australia to the Middle East while they were on Earth. How do we know that there were aliens? First, read Ezekiel (the following passage is from 1:16):

"This was the appearance and structure of the wheels: They sparkled like chrysolite, and all four looked alike. Each appeared to be made like a wheel intersecting a wheel."

Clearly, Ezekiel saw a UFO, and aliens coming out of it: (1:5) "and in the fire was what looked like four living creatures. In appearance their form was that of a man..."

Our final proof is that Reuben's son is named Hezron, which is clearly not a human name. Not only that, but later down the line (Levi's line, but there was probably some intermarriage between the two after a few generations passed), Moses's grandson was named Arphaxad, which is even less human than "Hezron." 

Anyway, so that's how kangaroos got into the Middle East. And that is how to make a conspiracy theory. (I swear to God that this will actually improve your analytical skills. I'm not kidding. It really does.)

Finally, Chili's. Hamburgers. Wings. Chips and Salsa. Ice Cream Brownie Sundaes. Do I even need to say more?